Sakshi Daral

I recently took a trip to Quebec City after a long time. I first visited the city with my family on our trip to Canada many years ago. A generous family friend had sponsored our trip and I am forever grateful to them for their hospitality. Our family friend asked me then if I would like to settle in Canada. I remember responding with – never. I had elaborate plans for my life and the future. Little did I know that the universe had other plans for me.
When I landed at the Quebec City airport this time, it was heavily raining. The weather forecast predicted thunderstorms for the rest of my trip. I watched the rain splash on the Uber window and the trees sway in the wind. I chanted under my breath for the Sun to shine upon us. It did, the next day and the day after that. Hearing that it was not my first trip to the city, the driver said, “Nothing has changed in the old city.”
I pondered over the years that had passed since my last trip and all that had changed in my life. I thought about the advice that I would give to my younger self. It would be to trust the universe and that life often doesn’t go as we plan with our minds.
I dedicate this poem to that young girl and many others who have experienced their lives take a turn they had never imagined before.

A letter to my younger self

Heard from the westerly winds, 
it's time for you to go for a spin.
You’ve trained well,
So splash and break the shell.
Off you go, with your peers and kin.

You’ve got thousands of miles,
Through the destiny of trials.
Beware! and look for the crooks,
No sharks, but talons and hooks.
The fresh water springs will bring you all smiles.

With dreamy eyes,
Few will spawn on the first sunrise,
While others will wait until St. Lawrence.
Speed ahead, even if your heart is tense,
But don’t give up, will say the wise.

You’ll splash harder to go beyond,
To spawn like no salmon has ever spawned.
Eyes will meet with your queen or king,
As you share dreams of the spring.
Fin in fin, you’ll sing the Yukon song!

But then, the Sun, gone!
Dark clouds will wrap around like an invisibility cloak.
Burning balls rain down, splicing through your skin,
Skitter, scramble and tatter, your kin cast away in smoke.
Scream or squeal, they'll slip through your fins. 

Fierce waves, beat you around,
Whirlpool, swishes as you drown.
Bumped against the rocks, swirled by the froth,
Your head, screaming, what’s east, what’s north? 
Your heart, in darkness, thirty-six thousand feet down.

Don’t worry, flow along

Into the abyss, don’t fight,
Pupils of unseen creatures will be your only light.
Where no land or current reside,
No turtles swim or salmon hide.
Far away from your kin, no longer in sight.

Don’t worry, flow along

Deeper than the Mariana Trench, Darker than a Black Hole,
Quieter than A Quiet Place, Colder than the Winterfell's snow.
Where there’s no way to go, No current to flow,
No direction to swim, and no space to grow.
Where the only thing you can do is stay.

Don’t worry, stay put

A flicker, you’ll see, rise within your eye,
Float, don’t push, the currents will get you by.
Soon, the darkness will subside,
The Sun will again be your guide.
And the joy of seeing your kin will make you cry.

Don’t hide, rise like the morning star

The new you will sparkle manyfold,
Silver will give way to blue and red bold.
Eyes greener than emerald, with a dash of white snow,
Your fins will shine bluer than the indigo.
You'll see, the reflection of your own inner gold.

Shine, like the Venus in a sky full of stars

And what about the spring?
Oh you’ll get there, with your brand new wings.
Only, it won’t be just without, but a place within.
Share your story, no matter where you begin,
But be your true inner salmon, that’s your spring!